


It's not the Fall that kills you (it's the landing)

by LilithReisender



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Aziraphale realizes just how far he's fallen, Day Three Prompt: Fall/Plummet/Dive, Ineffable Husbands Week 2019, M/M, but small angst, ineffable husbands, the church scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 05:03:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20522378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithReisender/pseuds/LilithReisender
Summary: Aziraphale had never been afraid of Falling





	It's not the Fall that kills you (it's the landing)

Aziraphale had never been afraid of Falling.

He had never truly had to worry about it. Despite what Gabriel may say, despite what _heaven _may say, Aziraphale was only a wayward angel for following orders. Not Their orders, although he had done that for a while; Her orders. From the beginning Aziraphale had known what he was made for: Protect the humans, guard them, love them, love _all_ of Her creatures.

He had thought he failed at first. The snake had gotten into the garden, the humans had been tempted, had been cast out of Eden. But they were so small, so fragile, and Eve was expecting already, so what else could he do but give away his sword? If he couldn’t protect them maybe he could give them something to protect themselves.

Aziraphale had lied to Her when she asked him about where the sword had gone. Had said that he had set it down somewhere. She hadn’t said anything, surely that meant he hadn’t done the wrong thing?

He had lied to Her, but he had told the truth to the serpent, to Crowley- Crawley at the time. Had stood on the gate of Eden and confessed his worries to the very being who had caused most of them in the first place. He had fretted over this decision for years afterwards, wondering _what had compelled him to do this? _And _what would They say if they found out? _But these thoughts came later, after he had lifted a wing for the demon to stand under, had _protected _his supposed enemy.

But the truth was…well, Crowley had never been much of an enemy to begin with. He would deny that, Aziraphale knew. He would say he had been a grand adversary for millennia before the Arrangement. But the fact remained that Crowley had never been anything less than friendly towards Aziraphale, even in the beginning. Their interactions had been awkward for a time, sure, but they had never been malicious. It was confounding. Aziraphale was supposed to hate Crowley, to smite him on sight. And it wasn’t that he was particularly fond of demons in particular, he had run across a fair number of them in ancient times and had always smote them without hesitation. It was that- despite everything he was _supposed_ to think about the demon- he liked Crowley. Crowley and his ridiculous clothes and his jokes and the way that Aziraphale sometimes caught him looking at him- like he was something beautiful the demon had never seen before.

They saw less and less of each other as time went on, the humans multiplied and moved and Aziraphale moved with them, following and helping where he could. And while Aziraphale knew that Crowley had gone off in the other direction, stayed where it was warm, he couldn’t help but look for him in the crowds, eyes scanning for a glimpse of red hair and black robes. Aziraphale berated himself every time he caught himself looking for the demon. He should have been glad that Crowley wasn’t there, no one to mess up his good deeds. But Crowley always showed up sooner or later, and Aziraphale never knew how to explain the sudden leap of his heart whenever the demon was around.

Aziraphale had never been afraid of Falling.

But _falling _was another matter entirely.

Books. A church. A bomb. Crowley had come to help him, even after their fight, he had walked into that church, trying to be cool and utterly failing. Crowley had gone to a place that he _knew _would hurt him the moment he had stepped inside, and he still did it. For _Aziraphale._ In his panic, trying to make sure that neither Crowley nor he discorporated from the bomb, he had forgotten about his books. His rare and precious books that he had spent so much time collecting over the centuries. But Crowley- Crowley hadn’t forgotten. Crowley had _saved them._ Crowley had handed over the bag of books, saying: _“Little demonic miracle of my own. Lift home?”_ Aziraphale had stared at him, shocked that he had remembered, that he had _known_ how important they were to him. He watched Crowley walk away, had thought: _Oh, I love him so. _

Aziraphale froze, unable to move as he processed the thoughts running through his head. _Oh,_ he realized in that moment, _I love him._

As he stood among the rubble of the church Aziraphale realized that he had fallen hard. Had been falling so slowly, had been wandering slightly downwards for millennia, until he hit rock bottom and was left with nothing but the truth: Aziraphale was completely and utterly in love with Crowley.

And that scared him more than the threat of Falling ever could.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, this is a bit shorter than what I normally like to write, but I am still a bit ill and I am currently also trying to finish the next chapter of my current WIP (which will be well worth it) so bear with me. Also, it is VERY likely that there are a few spelling errors or wrong words that I missed while editing so please feel free to point them out to me.


End file.
